Monthly Archives: September 2005

Gadget may wreak traffic havoc – 10/26/03

What an interesting gadget! I always wondered whether they had something like this.

Here’s a great joke

A certain old cat had made his home in the alley behind Gabe’s bar for some time, subsisting on scraps and occasional handouts from the bartender. One evening, emboldened by hunger, the feline attempted to follow Gabe through the back door. Regrettably, only the his body had made it through when Gabe slammed the door, severing the cat’s tail at its base. This proved too much for the old creature, who looked sadly at Gabe and expired on the spot. Gabe put the carcass back out in the alley and went back to business.

The mandatory closing time arrived and Gabe was in the process of locking up after the last customers had gone. Approaching the back door he was startled to see an apparition of the old cat mournfully holding its severed tail out, silently pleading for Gabe to put the tail back on its corpse so that it could go on to the kitty afterworld complete.

Gabe shook his head sadly and said to the ghost: “I can’t. You know the law: I can’t retail spirits after 2:00 AM.”


Poor cat! 😥


Till next post.
Your faithful typer,

“I don’t know what’s wrong with my television set. I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station. I actually bought a congressman.” – Bruce Baum

Well, I don’t know how many of you knew this or not (oh and in case you were wondering this is an update)but I am taking a class for russian at a local collage (ACC Arapahoe Community Collage).
So this last monday i went to the first weekly class. It was pretty fun.
My teacher is a very interesting lady. As you would suspect she is from russia originally and was once a part of the communist party. I was kind of suprised, becuase she talked about alot more than just russian. But this was the first class and she was introducing herself alot of it. Besides that it’s a two hour class, so I guess that gives her enough time to not have to go to fast anyway. There are six people in the class including me, so it’s not a terribly large class. Most of them are adults, the closest to my age seems to be a collage student, who is taking the class becuase he is in the military and might possibly be deployed to Russia.

Well I need to get to school so, more about this later.

Till next post.
Your faithful typer,

1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, “Wait! Where is Harry Potter?”

2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming, “YOU…..SHALL….NOT….. PASS!”

3. Ask everyone around you if they think Gandalf went to Hogwarts.

4. Finish off every one of Elrond’s lines with “Mis..ter Ander-sonnn.”

5. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, “And I did it…. MY way!”

6. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone’s finger and fall down the stairs.

7. Dress up as old ladies and reenact “The Battle of Helms Deep,” Monty Python style.

8. When Denethor lights the fire, shout “Barbecue!”

9. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout, “RUN FOREST, RUN!”

10. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: “That’s what I’m Tolkien about!”

11. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, “Where’s Waldo?”

12. Start an Orc sing-a-long.

13. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander around looking terribly confused.

14. When they go in the paths of the dead, wait for a tense moment and shout, “I see dead people!”

15. Imitate what you think a conversation between Gollum, Dobby and Yoda would be like.

16. Release a jar of daddy-long-legs into the theater during the Shelob scene.

17. Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for governor of California.

18. When Shelob comes on, exclaim, “Man! Charlotte’s really let herself go!”

Till next post.

Your faithful typer,



“Death to Fanatics!”


Most the time I don’t like posting jokes becuase they aren’t origional and my blog is mainly for you to come read things I’ve written. But becuase of the fact that I really haven’t been writing anything for a while (sorry 😦 *smacks lazy self* ) I decided to post a joke. Besides that I find this one particularly funny.


Is it just me, or does anyone else find it absolutely amazing that the U.S government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of
Washington, and determine exactly what that cow ate. They can also track her calves right to their stalls, and tell you what kind of feed they ate.

But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around in their country, including people that are trying to blow up important structures in the U.S.

My solution is to give every illegal alien a cow as soon as they enter the country.

This joke was sent to me from the joke-a-day ministries

“There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, that it ill behooves any of us to find fault with the rest of us.” – James Truslow Adams
(Isn’t behoov the strangest word?!)
BTW I also get most of my quotes from joke-a-day ministries as well

Till next time.
Your faithful typer,

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